Top 12 Funniest Horse Names

Features | 23rd July 2015

Sometimes in racing the odd name slips through the net that leaves us all in stitches. Here we give you the low down on the top 12 that have given us a right old chuckle when running on the track.

12 FUNNIEST HORSE NAMES

1. Two In The Pink

Be sure not to Google this one, you may be in for a surprise! Despite being a phrase championed by comedian Jimmy Carr, the name has also been called home a winner by a racing commentator. The Ralph Smith-trained horse was victorious at Kempton Park in early 2013.

2. DoReMiFaSaLaTiDo

Unless the commentator is an avid fan of the Sound of Music, this may be a tongue twister. Unluckily for whoever it was, it seemed one of its ‘favourite things’ was winning good races, including a Grade 2 contest in the US.

3. Maythehorsebewithu

Fair to say this horse did have the force. After winning his maiden by a neck, he went on to finish fifth in the Melbourne Cup – the race that stops a nation. We can also confirm that Darth Vader was not his father, it was in fact top-class New Zealand sire, Zabeel.

4. Ha Ha Ha

A nightmare for commentators to pronounce without looking stupid, it seems the last laugh was actually on those who named him. In a six-race career, he finished last twice and was pulled up on two other occasions. Still, onwards and upwards!

Jockey and trainer laugh at a funny name

5. Big Tits

With a name like this, you’d expect the horse to bounce out of the stalls with aplomb. However, there was little liveliness on the track with the French-trained filly finishing unplaced in six races.

6. Hoof Hearted

Say it quickly and you’ll get it. In ten starts, the South African-based horse demonstrated little ability to perform on the track. In this case, the one that smelt it, actually dealt finishing last or second to last. One of the funniest horse names for a commentator to have to deal with!

7. Passing Wind

Another of a flatulent nature, Passing Wind was a victor in two of his races. You wouldn’t have wanted to be behind him when finishing. It is probably why he won by a ‘distance’ and ‘seven lengths’ on both of his winning occasions.

8. Whykickamoocow

We’re not really sure how this came to light, probably a little bit too much whisky was consumed when filling in the forms. It’s arguably one of the most ridiculous names to be given to a racehorse. Still, absolutely hilarious when called home.

9. Geespot

Now, the naming itself will make you snigger like little school children on the playground, but the naming is superb based on its pedigree. By the sire ‘Pursuit of Love’ and out of the mare ‘My Discovery’, you can only admire the creativity of the naming of this mare. Genius.

10. Wear The Fox Hat

Say it quickly in an Irish accent, but not at work or school otherwise you’ll be in trouble. Clearly those sanctioning names didn’t resort to this method – thankfully for all of us we were treated to the commentaries!

11. Mary Hinge

Be careful not to get this wrong, otherwise you could be in for quite a surprised look from whoever you are with. Trained by Julie Cecil, a former wife of Sir Henry Cecil, this mare went onto secure a Listed contest at Haydock Park in 1994.

12. AARRRRRRR

Clearly named on ‘Speak Like A Pirate’ Day, this equine athlete was forever a pain in the backside for live commentators. On the upside, this hurdle-hopping horse is probably the only animal able to kind of pronounce and say his own name – which is a skill in itself!

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