11 of the funniest horse racing quotes

Features | 11th February 2021

Sit back, enjoy and have a laugh at these brilliant one liners from the world of horse racing.

Jockeys, trainers and presenters all have serious day jobs, so whenever the opportunity to have a laugh in front of the camera comes along they often grab it with both hands. 

We’ve compiled our top 11 of some of the funniest horse racing quotes and one liners said by racing personalities. Enjoy!

Hayley Turner

“I’ve got a feeling, I’m going to lose the ride to Galileo, I think he’s got the mount on her next unfortunately”

hayley turner horse racing quote

Hayley Turner couldn’t help cracking this wise line when being asked if she thought she would be riding her favourite filly Onassis next season after winning at Goodwood back in October last year.

Ted Walsh

“This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother”

Ted Walsh horse racing quote 2

Ted made this comment on a promising sort… We all know what Ted means but it still gets the giggles going and at first glance, it’ll certainly raise an eyebrow or two.

Bob Cooper

“It’s a man actually, Derek”

One of the all time classics when it comes to horse racing quotes. An innocent mistake by Derek Thompson and a brilliantly dismissive response by Bob Cooper led to comedy gold and a viral video.

Derek Thompson explains, “because you are looking ahead at the camera, I casually glanced behind quickly to see where Bob Cooper was then you can personalise the introduction to the presenter. I just happened to glance around and see this blonde hair and quickly assumed it was a woman. It was as simple as that.”

Bob Cooper reflected on the moment saying: “You can’t plan a response and at the time when it came out, I thought it sounded quite good.”

Willie Carson

“I’m lucky because I have an athlete between my legs”

willie carson

Taken out of context this quote from five-time Champion Jockey Willie Carson would certainly make you think twice.

AP McCoy

“If anyone falls at the last fence we’ve got an expert to talk about it”

A playful joke by AP McCoy to his good friend Ruby Walsh when Ruby first joined the ITV racing team. If you haven’t seen Paddy Power’s video of Ruby Walsh getting revenge on a troll who made similar comments, it’s well worth a watch!

John Gosden

“As long as he doesn’t go over there shouting at all the French ladies. He’s a bit fond of that!”

john gosden horse racing quote 1

John Gosden was talking about his super stayer Stradivarius last September ahead of his tilt at the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe. It’s obviously very important to keep Strad’s mind away from distractions to focus on the race in hand!

Ted Walsh

“I never ate a Kardashian”

Ted Walsh

On RTE (Irish TV channel), they created an #AskTed series where people could ask Ted anything. One user tweeted in saying “who’s your favourite Kardashian” and Ted replied “I never ate a Kardashian”. 

Ted’s total disinterest in celebrity culture is what makes this response so great.

Hollie Doyle

“He won’t be coming home tonight”

Hollie Doyle and Tom Marquand are fast becoming the golden couple of British horse racing, with the top jockeys recently announcing their engagement.

Hollie made the comment after finishing a close second to Tom at Lingfield Park back in December 2019. At the time Hollie was chasing her a British record of the most amount of winners by a women in a calendar year – she got their despite this loss!

It’s great to see they can have a laugh with each other while focussing on their important job.

Derek Thompson

“Are you well? I thought you were”

It’s hard to describe how magnificently “Alan Partridge” this video is. The now viral video promoting the Crown Hotel at Bawtry which is near Doncaster is a must watch.

The opening exchanges see Derek set the tone; the former Channel 4 Racing presenter grabbing a champagne glass and delivering the line “Are you well? I thought you were” to a group of startled ladies at the bar.

A few years passed until the Summer of 2019 when Radio 1 DJ Greg James saw the clip and was immediately entranced with the hilarity of the phrase. The DJ even arranged for singer Becky Hill to refresh the lyrics to her hit song ‘Wish You Well’ with Derek’s famous phrase in the Radio 1 studio.

Mick Easterby

“I’m a bit older than my teeth”

Mick Easterby horse racing quote

One of the sport’s great personalities. When Britain’s oldest trainer Mick turned 89 in March last year, his granddaughter said “how old are you today?” and Mick brilliantly responded with “I’m a bit older than my teeth”.

John Gosden

“Mr Dettori has three kids going to college, Enable needs to stay in training”

john gosden

A quick quip from John Gosden when asked if Enable stays in training after she just won the 2018 Arc. Instead of the usual answer of we’ll wait how she’s come out of the race and what the owner wants to do, John decided to have a bit of fun.

The super mare Enable won over £10.7 million in prize money throughout her career, 7% jockeys’ fee from that should keep the bills covered for a while Frankie!

Enjoyed the 13 of the funniest horse racing quotes? Well, you’ll certainly enjoy the top 12 funniest horse names article below.